Marriage and Divorce Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 3000 words

Marriage and Divorce - Essay Example In order to rescue the relationship and reconnect with one’s partner, then it is imperative to get real about it and be totally honest with oneself. To reconnect with a partner, one has to reconnect first with him or herself. The journey starts with you rather than with one’s partner and one has to take the power back, becoming a person who inspires respect, commands quality, and settles only for abiding and active love. To proceed without acknowledging that the fix is dependent on you is a guarantee for failure. Troubled relationships arise when individuals allow themselves to accommodate disappointment, pain and self-destructive attitudes. The individual thus has to reclaim their strength, uplift the people around them and inspire them, through strength of calm and quiet power backed by self-worth and dignity. Troubled relationships do not have victims; the individual set the relationship up in that way. Without adopting a lifestyle that is built to maintain it, it is not possible to carry out a long-term fractured relationship. Dysfunctional relationships with a partner come from a dysfunctional relationship with oneself. While it is impossible to control a partner, it is possible to inspire them and give them a fresh set of stimuli to respond. To emphasize this, an individual, has to make an effort to fix them first before fixing the relationship. There are seven steps to a relationship rescue. Firstly, it concerns definition and diagnosis of where one’s relationship stands at present since it is impossible to change what is not acknowledged. Secondly, the individuals need to forget the myths and rid themselves of wrong thinking. Third, discover negative behaviors and attitudes, as well as the specific ways, which irreparably harms relationships with oneself. Fourth, one needs to internalize personal relationship values that form the new foundation of relationship life. Fifth, learn the formula that aids successful relationships, which is only possible after the first four steps. Sixth, the individual begins the process of reconnection, and finally, they learn how to manage relationships on reconnecting with the partner. Defining the Problem To do this, an individual, needs to decipher what they have done wrong and right, in that relationship, to drive it to the current position (McGraw, 2000). Correct acknowledgement of the plan is vital if one is to make the correct plans to alleviate it. It is important that an individual admit to emotional divorce, as well as relationships that are killing them, their self-value, and worth. The questions that need to be asked include; is one of the partners dumping his or her life frustrations that have nothing to do with the relationship on the other partner? Have you been parents for a considerable amount of time that you forget what being lovers and friends allude to? Have you forgotten how to pay each other attention? Do you have sex any longer? Has anything happened to yo ur levels of intimacy? Are you distant and cold to your partner as a result of old disagreements? Are you a family with two income streams that have not time for the other? Is there tension arising from a previous extra-marital affair by one of the partners? The book contains a detailed self-questionnaire that allows one to create a personal and relationship profile. The book then details five questions that are meant to crystallize the profile of the relationship. First, considering that one definition of love is considering the wellbeing and security of your partner as significant as yours, would you claim that you love your partner? Using this same definition, does your partner love you and why? Knowing the details